Dignity Dialogue, September 2021

In Defence of Spontaneity

Does everything have to happen like well-oiled machinery? Does one really

need to stick to a definite routine? Raj S. Rangarajan doesn’t think so and

here is his argument.

Fisherman-hobbyist Billy Rey

my corner

Many books have been written about how advanced planning helps.

Many management gurus have waxed eloquently about how managing time productively helps people lead more meaningful lives. And, there are CEOs who who swear that planning ahead is the ultimate panacea for corporate success. How many of these management practitioners take the time to smell the roses or do anything on a whim? Why is doing things on a whim not acceptable? Why should everything be politically correct? Have you thought of popcorn for breakfast? 

And, I am not saying this for the sake of being contrarian. 

And this is so especially if one is a senior – more so when the senior’s responsibilities and obligations are only to oneself. More and more seniors these days live alone. Yes, more often than not, children and grandchildren are part of the mix. Why cannot seniors be spontaneous? I know some are. Is it because we are fearful of being labelled a freak by our near and dear? Or, is it because society and our neighbours mandate it?

Do something different every day. It keeps your juices flowing. Talking of seniors, a year after my wife passed away – on a whim I decided to surprise my 95-year-old father-in-law. Without informing anyone – not even his other daughter with whom he was residing in Carmel, Indiana – I took the three-hour flight from Newark to meet them. While I am not a great fan of surprising people, the ‘surprise element’ for this nonagenarian was priceless! It was my spontaneous decision, and at his age every moment was worth the effort and money. It was coincidental that both of us relished the same celebrated malts of Scotland!

Here’s another instance of being spontaneous: I normally walk around the lake in my North Hudson neighbourhood. The other day, I spotted a man with a bunch of hi-tech fishing rods and I was curious in view of his elaborate gear. I started off with small talk and soon fisherman-hobbyist Billy Rey was eager to converse. He spoke passionately about the different kinds of fish life – catfish, largemouth bass, rainbow trout and crabs – that this placid lake spawned. An avid aficionado, Billy has been fishing since he was six, and of late, after reeling them in, he has been freeing them back into the water. 

Continuing with the walking analogy, as a senior how often do you take a different fork in the road instead of following the trodden path? As creatures of habit, we are comfortable with the familiar, with greeting the same old friends, and cracking the same old jokes.

In his recently published, elaborately researched book, ‘Keep Sharp: Build a Better Brain at Any Age’, Dr.

Sanjay Gupta, MD, CNN’s Chief Medical Correspondent and Associate Professor of Neurosurgery at Emory University School of Medicine in Atlanta, says, “Try something different every now and then; try not to power up your computer first thing in the morning; try not to multitask; try not to respond to emails immediately, however strong the urge.” A strong proponent of both aerobic and non-aerobic exercises, Dr. Gupta prescribes that seniors should be constantly active. His five pillars for brain health are ‘move, discover, relax, nourish and connect’.Even as a younger person, I have always been a proponent of Plan B. For me Plan A does not exist. Thus everything I do is a surprise, and I enjoy it. And, I do not disturb or disrupt anyone’s peace of mind within the family, since I am single. 

Here is another personal example of spontaneity: my brother worked for the German airline Lufthansa for 40 years. Thanks to his charity and benign graces, I could avail of many discounted flights whenever I flew internationally. Being a discounted ticket I would be allowed to board the aircraft only if a spare seat was available, which was most of the time. Perhaps only twice in 25 years I was denied a seat. But the interesting point is that because obtaining a seat was always iffy and tentative, I learnt the art of being patient. Don’t we all constantly wait as patients? I adapted my expectations and became a Plan B personality.

So my spontaneity principle: never worry or stress about getting a seat on a flight, take things easy, don’t panic! If I miss the flight, tomorrow is another day, another flight! So, this habit of not getting flustered, taught me two valuable lessons: Take one day at a time! Don’t plan too much.

Management pundits constantly profess that planning everything in advance is the only way to be in control. In my opinion, advance planning is overrated. 

Seniors, learn to relax, let your guard down once in a while. Your grandchildren will appreciate you – perhaps not your children. Admittedly, not all seniors can be spontaneous. Some may need physical help in accomplishing things. Not all seniors know how to relax, how to let their hair down. In conclusion, haven’t we all heard of Scotsman Robert Burns’ line about “best laid plans of men and mice that could go awry!” 

Dignity Dialogue | September 2021